Losing …

6 month ago I finished writing my first book and I sent it to about 10 publishing houses and because the book was in English and I am in case you didn’t know an Egyptian wasn’t Super easy to publish. Few publishing houses here publish in English and one of them accepted my book but they asked for a lot go money and I knew they were literally stealing money from me so, I didn’t agree. And my book remained unpublished … And that really frustrated me and I ended up not writing any thing for 5 whole month. I won’t say i gave up on being A published writer or that I let that define me ….. But for me it was the first time I ever wanted something and I didn’t get. So, it felt like it was a slap in the face and I wasn’t in the mood for writing anything. So, I stopped. Then,  4 month later I started my senior year which here all what universities look at is your senior grades and senior year is the most difficult year in school and for someone like me who is not school smart .. Who doesn’t like studying at all and an average student but who’s dream is to become a physiotherapist and I need a 94% at least for that .. That was another slap on the face. And you know what it’s hard and I am so scared … Because it’s my dream that’s on the line here and I am clueless.I have no idea what to do and I spent the first 3 month of my senior year just complaining and studying nothing … For the first time in my life I’ve experienced what is it like to be truly scared …. I’ve tried so hard to figure out how I am gonna get that 94% but I can’t figure how ….. I’ve been working harder lately but the thing is what I am asked to do for me maybe the hardest thing ever … If you ask me to work 10 hours a day without being payed it’s better than this. I am not a lazy person actually the opposites but not when it comes to school work  … And whenever I feel like I am little close … I feel like I went back to point zero and today is one of those day …. And I feel like I became a person I can’t recognize anymore … I’ve worked so hard to find myself but now i feel like I am losing it again and I seem to have forgotten everything I believed in …. I can’t even remember who I was 7 month ago … 7 month ago I was a writer, i had a blog , I loved reading, I was a super motivated and inspired person . Just today I went through my old posts and I am shocked of how these 7 month changed me .. I am like yeah I used to believe in that, yeah I used to love that and ooh I remember when I felt that …. Now I feel like this weird person whom I can’t seem to figure out who she is or what she wants. I feel like I let my own demons control me .. That’s how I truly feel

But you know what I am gonna try to remember who I used to me and I will fight my own demons and I will make my dreams come true because I know if I didn’t one day I will regret this so much … So if it’s a war my demons want then it’s a war they will get

God! Just being here for only couple of house already makes me more inspired and I am terribly sorry for not replying to any comments and I would really appreciatany advice right now cause I really need some guidance and thank you so much for reading and I know this isn’t Really good poet at all .. But it’s such a real one. So, I want to share it.

Things they don’t teach you in high school

They teach us a lot of things in high school but we end up using nothing of what we learned in real life. I never find my self using any of the information i learned from school. And there’s a lot of things i wish i learned school like HOW TO HANDLE A PROBLEM or HOW TO COOK or HOW TO ORGANIZE THINGS but don’t worry today i am gonna teach you things they don’t teach you in high school

1.How to go through a bad breakup:                                                                                                                                           I Can’t say i am the best to give advice for this matter  but my friends has been to a few bad breakups so, i understand. first thing realize that it’s his lost. You are amazing anyone would be lucky to be with you and if he can’t notice that then, he is really not worth your time, your tears or your mascara. Cause come on if you put makeup on you know a good mascara can get a little pricy and we both know no one is worth finishing your mascara on. secondly try to FORGET HIM and i know this may be a little hard but train yourself to do it cause practice makes perfect and you can’t forget about him if the background of your computer you and him holding hands or you showed up to work late because you spent the last night going through not only his instagram but his friends and family. I am not gonna lie to you but it’s not gonna work that way. You need to erase every picture, throw any gifts and delete his number. That’s the only way you will forget about it. Last but definitely not least watch a lot of movies with a lot of hot guys in it so you realize how bad he look even if he is not compared to them and now all you will be able to think about is how hot zac efron looks in Bad Neighbors, you will not even be able to think about him because zac efron had took over your mind, God now i have problems getting zac efron out of my mind. And remember i told you i am not the best in this matter i am making an effort here okay

2. How to save money                                                                                                                                                                 My name is salwa and i am a shopaholic, My 2 favorite places are zara and h.m. They are like a second home for me. The smallest amount of time i spent there was 30 min and i can’t tell you how bad i felt about it, it broke my heart. I normally spend from 1 to 2 hours and if i am lucky 3. Now no one wants to go out with me, they claim i am insane, i love clothes more than i love them and they can’t handle walking for 5 hours without food. well, clearly they are they are the insane one’s who needs food when he can have clothes. Well actually i am insane and that’ why i decided to recover and today i am gonna tell you my secrets. I try my own clothes at least once a week, that way i satisfy my need to go to fitting rooms and try clothes on. Another thing that really helps is i try to create new outfits from my own clothes that way i feel like i already bought new clothes. Another tip on how to save more money is i like to hid my money in books, yass you read right. I like to hide some cash in my old books and later on i forget about them and when i find them it’s such a great feeling and i am thinking about doing it in cds too because that book thing is getting obvious for me.

3.How to solve a problem                                                                                                                                                                I will tell you what works for me. when i have a problem i like to sit alone and think about it. I think about what happened and i ask myself  was it my fault or their fault and don’t act like you don’t talk to yourself cause at some point we really need some expert advice. The next step is asking for other’s advice and opinions. At last i like to think more with my friends opinion’s in mind until i come up with my solution.Then i study my solution and try to visualize what will happen in case i tried it and at the end i find the answer for my problem.And always just like in math every problem must have a solution.

Absorbed by the light

I was trying so hard to write something inspirational and motivational no matter how much i tried i wasn’t able too. I couldn’t write, i couldn’t lie. I am sad, tired and uninspired and i wasn’t able to know why. Everything is going great. I am doing what i love and what i want and i’ve been happy for a long time now. I couldn’t find an explanition to why am i feeling this way.  I felt like i was walking so fast  and i didn’t know where i was going. Finally i knew what was wrong and why i was feeling this way. I watched a video which explained everything and i am sure some of you may relate to this. He explained how we people can easily get absorbed by the light. I will explain, some of us have been in the darkness for such a long time or even for a short period of time and suddenly all this light comes in, all this happiness enter your life. It overwhelms you, it’s a lot to take. At first you will try to keep up with it but it’s a matter of time when you will get tired but, this is just one of the many stages of life and dealing with darkness and sadness. we already been through a lot, we handled a lot. we just need to handle this too and life will get even better than before. And this is totally normal when someone is in the dark and suddenly get exposed to sunlight it overwhelms him, he can’t open his eyes at first but he adjusts later. so, wait and never lose hope. I will, i will take this slow, i will stop running from the darkness cause i’ve already escape. I will take a moment, catch my breath and absorb the light before it absorbs me.

Taking things for granted

We are always taking things for granted like we own it. We act like it’s our property and don’t appreciate it but, what we don’t know is that it can easily be taken away from  us. And when that happens we will be left alone with nothing and we will feel great regret for not appreciating what we had and not trying to make the most of it.

we take a lot of things for granted but the top 3 things we take for granted are Money, family and health and for each one of these things i have a story that taught me not to take any of these things for granted.

1-Money

A year ago my best friend and her family lost most of their money and her home. Just like that after having a beautiful home and a big factory. They were left with no home, no money and a non-working factory. You can imagine how difficult it was for them and having to live in friends home. This teached me how to never take my family’s money and my home for granted and to appreciate that money and know a lot of people are not lucky enough to have it. The money i spend in a month can be pretty enough to solve some of people problems. I am not a spoiled brat i swear but a little amount for me or for you can be huge for someone else. It teached me to stop spending my money on unimportant things and to appreciate how hard my dad works to bring us this money, I haven’t actually went real shopping in 3 month and anyone who know’s me know’s i am a shopaholic. So, appreciate the money you have and spend it wisely in order not to wish one day you did.

2-Family

Recently my other best friend parents are filing for a divorce. I can never imagine what she is going there. Having been in that situation but thank god my parents backed down and made up truley opened my eye’s about that issue and how badly it can affect you. I never ever thought aboout my parents getting a divorce or splitting up. It never crossed my mind so, i never really understood how horrible it is and how again not to take a happy family for granted. If you’re parents love and understand each other be grateful for that and appreciate it because some people wish for it, They pray all the time for it. So, dont take your family for granted and wish they always stay together and happy.

3-Health

Don’t worry this will not be another best friend story. This is my brother’s story. So, ever since my brother was a kid he suffered from a big health problem and for a while the medicine wasn’t even available but, thank god it is now. So, as long as he takes his medicine hopefully everything so going to be fine but sometimes it doesn’t. So, appreciate it your body and how great it works, appreciate it your beating heart and appreciate your life.

So, moral of all these stories is to not take anything for granted and to appreciate what you have. And if you’ve been through any similar situation i wish you the best and i hope you learned for it. Understand that i am not telling you this to gain your compassion or sympathy. I just want you to learn and be grateful. I will see you all next time, Byeeeeee 🙂

Lost …

I’m lost …. I keep collecting the pieces of my heart

but with no use they’re already broken

you keep me hanging … you keep me thinking this is the end

but it seems to be NO END

The pain is endless …. the days are longer

I am too young but i feel so old

I don’t know if this is my life but it seems to be everyones life

Wither they now it or not they’re miserable … just like me

But it feels so hard to say it .. to tell it .. to live it

So, you keep acting .. you keep drawing on who you are and start painting who they want

But that’s not what they want … it’s you what they want

That’s what they hate the most you …. so YOU hate YOU

cause they are right … they’re always will

cause they’re the pretty one’s

and everyone wants to be pretty

When will we realize the truth

when will realize that she’s not that pretty and he’s not that handsome

And that we are not that innocent

B

Dear, me

I am feeling so down right now. I know that’s normal and I’ve been really happy for a while now. So, I saw that coming but, as always I’ve no idea what’s wrong. But all I know is that I hate it here, I hate it so much. No matter how much I love this place and how much I love my family and friends. I hate living here. There’s so many places I would rather be at now and there is so  many things I would love to do. I would love to travel, to experience new thing, to meet new people and to work. I feel like I am trying so hard but still this is not what I want. I want adventure and success and I am never gonna get it from this room, this house and this country. I wanna travel, I wanna live on my own and if that is what I wanna do. Then, that’s what is going to happen. And as my role model Blair Waldorf says ”If you want something you don’t stop for anyone or anything until you get it”. I know I have to finish college until I go anywhere but, until then I am determined to have the time of my life. I will work so hard, I will achieve my dreams, I will keep writing and I will keep exploring. My dreams is all i got and i am no gonna give up on them.This may be hard but it’s worth it and i have to be worthy of being human

Don’t ever give up your dreams for anyone or anything. You are the only one who matters. And you don’t need anyone you have you. That’s enough. Dream on, dream on, dream until the dream come true.

This made me feel so much better and i want you to feel better. So, tell me in the comments below what’s on your mind, what’s your dreams and how you plan on making them true and if your facing any struggles. If you don’t mind sharing of course. And if you mind maybe write it and keep it for yourself.Thank you so much for reading and i will see you all next time, Byeeee 🙂 🙂

(ps. I wrote a similar post titled ” Dear, young me ” a message to my younger self. I got great feedback out of that post. I would love if you guy’s checked it out, thanks)

The secret for happiness

We are all searching for happiness. That one thing that makes everything better. Happiness have different forms and shapes and it differs from someone to another, but the feeling remains the same, but i believe everything have a secret and the secret also differs from someone to another.                                                                                                                       So, i asked 10 people what they think is the secret of happiness and some answers weresimilar and some were completely different, but i think they all bring happiness, Here is the answers

The secret is trying not to worry much about the future and being happy with what you have but still being a little ambitious.

It’s not allowing others to hurt\abuse you.

It’s having supporting friends and family that love you no matter what and doing the things you love

It’s ignoring the people that hurt you.

It’s seeing the good side of everything and being realistic.

It’s inner peace.

It’s finding a significant other and being in love.

It’s listening to the voice of your heart and following it.

It’s helping others.

It’s believing in God.

It’s positive thinking.

And finally after a long journey i discovered my secret. Its chasing dreams and achieving them no matter, it’s becoming successful and helping others trying to make them happy

Now you tell me what’s your secret, I would love to know. So, feel free to tell me in the comment section down below, BYEEEEEEE and i will see you all next time.

I believe ………

I believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger …… I believe that pain is necessary but also temporary and that life comes in seasons

I believe that we are all equal men, women, straight, gay, bi , black or white ….. we are all human

I believe in speaking my mind, saying what i feel is right

I believe we should all love ourselves more  …. we should all spend more time alone thinking … i believe we should learn to survive on our own

I believe in taking risks because we only live once and without some danger life is just boring

I believe in god and my religion but i also believe people have the right to believe in any religion … and i believe atheists have the right not to believe ….. And I believe we should all be okay with that

I believe in dreaming, planning, working and building a life

I believe we all have a choice

I believe that none of us are perfect nor ever will

I believe gay people should have the right to get married anywhere

I believe we should all stop searching for lovers or forcing love … love will come when its turn to enter your life

I believe in good music and good taste

I believe in laughing and smiling to strangers

I believe we should all do what we want to do and what we love

I believe that us women our rights are take away from us and we should all start doing something about it

I believe in being kind and honest no matter what

I believe that everything happens for a reason

I believe that there is love everywhere

I believe that happiness is a choice

I believe in failing and trying again

I believe no one have the right to judge

And finally i believe we all got something to say and we all got beliefs. So, tell me what do you believe in. I would love to know so feel free to tell me anything in the comment section down below and i will see you all next time,Byeeeeeee 🙂

My first award

This month i received my first award which is so exciting. It was a normal day i was going to bed but i checked my blog first to find that i am nominated for ” Versatile blogger award ” by the amazing Nature lover, thank you so much. I am very happy and this is a wonderful feeling and thats why i plan to share it with some of you guys.

Rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog
2. List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.
3. State 7 things about yourself
4. Nominate other bloggers for the award.
5. Contact your nominees to let them know you have nominated them.
6. Display the award logo on your blog.

Here are seven things about myself

1. I love reading.

2. I’m a shopaholic.

3. I love spending time with my self.

4. Chuck bass is my dream man.

5. New york is my favorite city.

6. I want to be a physiotherapist.

7. English is not my first language but i am in love with it and i can speak it fluently.

My nominees are:

1. The art town https://theraotown.wordpress.com/

2. Natasha B https://tashab95.wordpress.com/

3. shruti gopinath https://iamyourtwilightstar.wordpress.com/

4. Arts art’s https://artartz.wordpress.com/

5. Anagha https://livedreamlovelife.wordpress.com/

6. Thoughtfulstroll http://thoughtfulstroll.com

7. Josh wrenn https://myfridayblog.wordpress.com/

8. E https://orionfirefly.wordpress.com/                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     10. Sherina speaks https://sherinaspeaks.wordpress.com/

11. The grey eye https://thegreyeye.wordpress.com/

Thanks again for Nature lover https://valiantwarrior.wordpress.com/

for nominating me and thanks to all my followers and everyone who reads my posts. I love you so much and i hope i am able to have a good impact ion your life and help you during your journey. Bye guys and i will see you next time 🙂

My march

This month i am not gonna do the same as before because honestly i didn’t do anything exciting this month and i was busy with school work and exams but still i’ve got something to say. Many things actually.
This month i learned and realized a lot of thing that i would love to share with all of you
1-Happiness is a choice                                                                                                                                                               I can choose to be happy no matter what the circumstances of my life are. That choice really changed my life. It made it better, it made me better. And for that i am so grateful and i hope more people are brave enough to make this decision because it will improve their lives drastically and remember that life is too short to miss on being really happy.

2-I make my own rules                                                                                                                                                                 No one have the right to tell me how to live my life  or what to do and what not to do. I make my own rules  and my own decisions. I should decide what’s good for me and what’s bad and no one have the right to interfere. Advices are acceptable but you should remember that it’s only an advice. At the end you chose. At the end you make the rules

3-Some times you have to let go                                                                                                                                             Sometimes no matter how much you love someone you have to let him go. Because they are just bad for you. And sometimes they make you a bad person or less like you and more like them. And that’s the last thing you want. You don’t want to lose yourself because YOU are all you’ve got . You are unique why let someone change that. OR Sometimes because they  don’t give back. They don’t give back your love, your honesty, loyalty and time. They just don’t give it back. So, why waste your on someone unworthy of it.

4-Dream big                                                                                                                                                                               if you’re gonna dream then dream big .

I would love to know your opinion on this and what you’ve learned this last month . So,feel free to write anything in the comments section down below, byeeeee 🙂